Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Goat balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What didn't last long? You in the bed

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what did the orphan get for Christmas? a family

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why didn't the kid win the talent show? He wasn't talented.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

to see a bad joke look above

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the Muslim do when he was in a big American crowd? He was socializing.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Jews who wear penny loafers...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the man say to the other man? Nothing, they didn't know each other..

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the depressed man complain about life? He didn't he committed suicide.):

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A dwarf walks under a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats worse then justin beiber NOTHING

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what happened to the christian when he died? nothing because god isnt real.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the pickle say to the cucumber? I am you from the future!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you get a black person out of a tree? You grab a ladder and help them down.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are white violets are green if you you sit on santas lap he will stab you

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to see him rocking and rolling on it.:)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: what do you call a guy named Aaron? A: Aaron

thumb_up thumb_down +6

guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops