Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why are young girls better at school than young boys? Because young boys think about young girls.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out that your mother just got raped by ten black men and then coming home to her dead body and getting raped by the same men who raped your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows. Chickens aren't capable of knowing why they do things.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

thumb_up thumb_down +53

what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What happened when a gay man asked a straight man what time it was? He told him the correct time, they parted ways and went about with their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We know about the cocaine.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did Johnny fall off his bike? He was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the fat black guy fail his eye exam? He's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops