So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Cliterus

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What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

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Why cant Helen Keller driver? She's a woman

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

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KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

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1 tip for a flat belly so eating so much u fat bitch

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Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

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Tried to type an ascii of a penis, failed

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Asian women drivers...

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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How come grilled cheese?

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Q: In 2900 A.D, why did the stars started blasting at each other and exploding? A: Because it was the time for "Star Wars".

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

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whats white and if it fell from a tree it would kill you ? Pat Butcher

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops