You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

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Q: Why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: What to year old WOULDN'T?

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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Your mom is so fat that I worry she may develop diabetes.

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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Why did the woman cross the road? Why the hell is she out of the kitchen!

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10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called anti joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Richard Nixon walks into a bar. Everyone is thrilled to meet a former President of the United States who returned from the grave.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

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Q: What's worse than losing your job? A: Seeing your entire family die in a car accident

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Whats the difference between a black guy and Luke Skywalker? Luke met his real father

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There was a black person running down my street. He was celebrating because he just graduated from Harvard University.

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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LOLLLLLL! Lakers? making me laugh so hard! LMAO

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Three baby seals walk into a club...

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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Penis.

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops