A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're people to you know...

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Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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XD A COZY FIGHT XD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? I am gonna kick your ass, break your face and then give you a kiss on the cheek as your mangled corpse bleeds out... XD :)) THANKS FOR THE LAUGHTER XD XD Reminds me of a former comment where you describe the local weather, you know, we do not live that far away from each other, hell it was actually the time, we are completely in the same timezone, so anyway, do you also get cartoon network on your television?

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

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What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

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What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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Why did the black man enjoy KFC. Because like many foods, it contains monosodium glutamate (MSG) a flavor enhancer that makes many foods taste better. It however had nothing to do with race or cultural background.

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What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

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When life gives you lemons, you should be wondering how "life" managed to give you those lemons.

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What does a gay horse eat? Other gay horses.

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Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

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So, two men walk into a bar. But the midget walks under it.

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What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have a gun, So get in the van

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Whats worse than being a jew? Having all of your friends viciously murdered at a party that you weren't invited to.

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why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

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Your Mom is so fat she's Fat

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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