Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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Try this on your friend Have him start with "knock knock" Then blankly stare at him, if he asks you To reply tell him no one is home

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What's pink and when you press a button it turns red? A baby in a blender. What's pink and when you hit it against the wall sounds metallic? A baby with two forks stuck in its eyes.

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A German challenged an Englishman to a duel But their neigbours found out and alerted the police

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Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

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An albino and a jew walk in to a bar. They both order the same drink and chat for a few minutes before the albino must get home to his wife. The jew leaves shortly after, tipping the bar tender a generous amount for his superb service.

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

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where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Drumset.

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

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I literally died laughing

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

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A horse walks into a bar. A chicken crosses the road. Humanity is no more. Nature reclaims the Earth.

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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