how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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Warning: Legit Joke Below What is the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? Only one can raise a child.

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What two states don't have running water? Solid and gas

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Knock Knock Who's there? My fist

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What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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As I was riding my bike down the road, I saw a young boy being raped in a dark alley way. I proceeded to pedal and acted like i had seen nothing.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

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If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

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Whats brown and ryhmes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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what do you tell a black man getting hit by a police baton? that is racial inequality, and you no longer have to take that due to Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

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Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. The prior sentence is a grammatically correct sentence in American English.

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727-8088-954 Call Me. Say your name is Nick whether or not your a guy or a girl.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your grandpa's dead So are you.

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

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What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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