why didn't the boy get his soda Because the cashier shot him

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FAMOUS DUDE:SWAG! Thank you, thank yo- HEY NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY, NO YOU CANT HAVE MY-KABOOM AUDIENCE: . . . YAY CLAP CLAP CLAP.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping your biscuit in your cup of tea.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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Your mum is so dead, when I kick her she doesn't move.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? Purple because, ice-cream has no bones.

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How do you identify a Chinese tank? They smash their own people.

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Q: What happened to the monkey when he jumped off the tree. A: He died Q: Why did the second monkey jump off of the tree A: He was attatched to the first monkey Q: Why did the third monkey jump off the tree A: Peer Pressure

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

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MORTAL KOMBAAAAAT BETA 0.3!!! DUDUDUDUDUDUDUNDUN Kano, Kano, Kano, Uh, some asian guy? Kano Kano, Kano, some black guy in the future, Kano, Kano, etc. MORTAL KOMBAAAT BETA 0.3!!!

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what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

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What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

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Your mom is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat outside, people notice a rather large woman who is enjoying the weather and wearing a yellow raincoat.

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Q: Why did the man have aids? A: He had unprotected sex with a man who had aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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