Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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How did the fat kid stop the bus? He didn't...

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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Hair

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kiss my ass

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

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what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Wrong house. I apologize.

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Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

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How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

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What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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Netball.

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Why did the blonde go to McDonald's ? Because she was hungry.

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knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

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Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

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girls basketball

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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