What do you call a horse with bread on its ears? Boris, because that's his name.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being raped by your uncle

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

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Why couldn't the black man participate in the running category of the Olympics? Because he had no legs, he was referred to the Special Olympics, instead.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse then precedes to beat the bartender voraciously for making fun of his religion.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops