sometimes when im bored i dress in white pour water on the ground and roll around in it and pretend im a papertowel

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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THAT'S RIGHT, BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER BOUGHT. LOOK WHAT A GREAT JOB IT DID ON THIS PAGE YEAH! I RECKON IT IS THE BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER DIDN'T SEE

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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what is behind your butt? DEEZ NUTS

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Who. Who, Who? Shut up you damn owl, I'm trying to deliver a pizza.

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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Person 1 - Have you heard about the movie about constipation? Person 2 - No. Person 1 - It hasn't come out yet

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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What did one orphan say to the other? 'Robin get in the car!'

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Why don't men have menstruation? -Because it sucks

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Two muffins were in a microwave. One muffin said, 'It's getting hot in here." What did the other muffin say? Nothing, muffins can't talk.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

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- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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Justin's life

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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