How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

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What is the difference between green and desert sage? About 20 bucks a gallon.

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A man walks into a bar an orders a few pints. He then goes home and brutally rapes his wife and chains his staring kids to a fencepost in the backyard along with their deceased dog named Spot.

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i was born with 99 medical problems, and the difficulty to count till 100.

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Why did the young boy die from Aggressive cancer? ...Because there isn't a cure.

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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WILLY

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Justin Port#$ falls out of a tree. What happens? he breaks his neck and unfortually dies a long painful death.

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Q: How did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: How did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was taped on to the first one!

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You might be a redneck if someone slaps you on the back of the neck.

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What is worse than being bitten by a snake? Being bitten twice! - Louis

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Q: How many Marys does it take to drive you crazy? A: Just one ::stares at Mary Annoyingly::

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Bob goes to the store and buys some food.

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hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

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What is the difference between a pillow and a rock The rock could hert you.

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What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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