A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. It depends how high the light is.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

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Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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what did the african boy get for christmas? what does his ethnicity or his place of origin have anything to do with what he gets for christmas

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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One I grabbed a lump of coal, and crushed it with such strength, that a human being was born out of it. That man is today known as Chuck Norris. Nero.

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What worse than being shot? Waking up and finding a penis in your mouth.

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what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

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David shut the fuck up your cat has asthma and i dropped a weight on its little fucking head that pikey should of drowned it furthermore your sister looks like a greasy alien

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Q. What did the man say when he beat his video game? A. "I beat my video game." Q. What did the man say after his favorite sports team missed the playoffs? A. "My favorite sports team missed the playoffs." Q. What did the man say when a murderer was in his house? A. Nothing. He was dead.

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PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

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How did the hairless cat brush its hair? It could not, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs, making it near impossible to do such a thing.

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what happen to the popo who got arrested? he told himself that he had the right to remain silent

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What's orange and not an orange? An orange.

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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A.One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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