Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

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What do you call your mother? Mom.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

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What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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Why couldn't the man get up to obtain a beverage? His legs were broken.

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

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Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

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What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

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Your mama's so fat that we couldn't catch the cancer early and it gave her crippling weight problem. I'm so sorry.

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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I AM DISSAPOINTED

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What has an extra toe and is a bad role model for little girls? Miley Cyrus.

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boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

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Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

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Guess what? SHADAP

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knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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