How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

thumb_up thumb_down +9

life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's red and a cow? Red cow

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your momma's so fat: She fears a lower life expectancy and consequently not seeing her grandchildren grow up.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the clown sad? Because he was found guilty of raping and murdering 33 young men, and sentenced to death for 12 of those murders by a jury of his piers.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is NO ONE on Facebook when I AM?! Because you have no friends... on Facebook... ... Wow.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why do black people have white hands and feet? Regardless of race or ethnicity, the skin on the palms and soles of the feet is always less pigmented than elsewhere on the body. In darker skinned people this fact is readily observable, but in light skinned people this feature of human biology cannot normally be discerned by simple visual inspection.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

You: I have a question Person: Yes You: Do you have an answer?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the Mexican get arrested? Because he crossed the border.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the prostitute get for Christmas Money

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the fat guy say after his weight-reduction surgery? I'm gonna sue the clown pants out of McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops