What did the Norwegian say to the Englisman? ØLølølølÅæåøåæøåæåæåæåæåæåæåæå

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What's funnier than an anti-joke? Sarcasm.

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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roses are red so is ur face dont look at me like im a crazy bitch

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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Why did the black man give his seat to a white man? Because the white man had a leg injury, and the black man was being a courteous good samaritan.

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

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Have you seen the new Spiderman movie yet? No, Uncle ben hasn't seen it either.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy But I just kissed you... And I have rabies!

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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Why was the asian a bad driver? Because while he was driving a leprechaun was punching him in the face.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

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the holocaust

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Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

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A priest, a jew, and a pirate walk into a bar. An exchange of dialogue occurs with the bartender and hilarity ensues.

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What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

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How did the boy break his hand? He slammed it in a car door.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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