Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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Tall asians

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

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What did Kim Kardashian say when she got a breast implant? DERP!

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what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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