A giraffe walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?!" to witch he replied " I've just been mugged outside.".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because animals walking across a paved street is a very common occurrence ever since the industrialization of the modern world.

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What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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What was Hellen Keller's dogs name? dhfgbvskjne How did Hellen Keller's dog die? Natural causes.

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Antijokes...

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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What's the difference between men and women? I really can't tell anymore, there's so many goddamn transvestites.

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field day?

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A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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What's the best part about having sex with a 9 year old in the shower? Pedophilia is a crime, and the people that do it are very sick individuals. The fact that you even thought there was a 'best' part disgusts me.

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Thank you for flying Buzzy Fly Airlines. Today we'll be flying around Uranus.

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whats the difference between a black guy and pizza? a pizza can feed a family.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why such the long face?" the horse is now crying in tears because the bartender made him. by Brennan pickrell

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Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

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Jesse likes to jack off and lick the white stuff off of his balls and digest it

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How many friends does it take to catch an owl? One because he was a bird catcher.

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If god gives you lemons keep the lemon go to the store and buy oranges to make orange juice.

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A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

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Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

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Q why did the kids make fun of timmy A because he was an android with al chunk of metal added accidentally where a real boys crotch would be. Bwilkster

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops