A white man walks into a bar. He orders an alcoholic beverage, and thinks to himself, " that made me feel a lot better. He drives home in his Cadillac and takes a nice sleep until 7am, when he is supposed to work. He is an architect.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I drink poodle juice for breakfast lunch and dinner I was then turned into a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Osama bin Laden walks into a bar. Just joking, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the difference between meat and fish? You can't beat your fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's better than sex? I have never had sex and, therefor, do not have adequate knowledge of the experience enough to make a comparison to other experiences. You should ask someone who has had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what is the tastiest veggie? veggies aren't tasty.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What would you do if Spider Man gave you super powers like his? Nothing. Spider Man is not real therefore you are most likely dreaming and need to wake up soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is worse than a badly told joke? A badly told Anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

So a man is in a car smoking weed when he forgets to crack a window so he over doses and dies. The car crashes and he kills 3 other people.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A black guy walks into a kkk meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? Because the economy is shitty and none of the higher ups are willing to take a pay cut and they’re still paying themselves massive bonuses, the result of which are layoffs across all departments.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a man with no legs or arms trying to ski? Impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

thumb_up thumb_down -29

You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

ok there is 3 people and the white kid says "bet i got a better dick than all of you" he pulls it out and then the mexican says "nope got you beat" and then the black guy says "nope got all you beat look" and then the mexican and white guys say "its because your black" so the black guy goes home and tells his mom wht happen and ask " is it true mines bigger because im black?" she said " no it bc your 23"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

One day a man walked into a wall

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops