why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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A duck walks into a bar and is immediately shot to prevent the spread of bird flu.

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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What has two legs and bleeds alot? Half a cat!

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Q: whats big gray and cant swim A: a castle

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You mean I have to type in this little box? That's so embarrassing!

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A- 2 jews walk in a bar..what happed? B- they died 35 years later from skin cancer

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PENIS

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Dave: Hi John! John: I have Aids.

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How do you trick the devil? You give him a ginger.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

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Jesse is so fat, his weight on his scale says " hahaha gotta love childhood obesity"

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A grandma writes to her young grandson every day over e-mail with funny lines and pictures,He shows his parents a joke she sent him it reads- "A guy walks into a bar.. He says ouch" They then read on and call the police.They say "Son go to your room.. you're being stalked by a pedophile.. Your grandma has been dead since last year.. we are sorry"

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

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Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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