Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

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Do u know what would be a big pain in the ass? A thorn

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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Poop.

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What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

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Have you ever had sex with a woman (or several at once) and suddenly thought somethi... Moral: Nevermind, like you ever had sex! LOL!

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extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

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What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

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what did the black kid get for Christmas? your bike

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Barack Obama walks into a KKK meeting. Everyone in the meeting is shocked, and no one says a thing out of sheer embarrassment because racism is no longer socially acceptable.

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What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

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What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

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a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops