why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

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how do u get a clown to stop smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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Why did hitler kill all the Jews? He is racist

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but hears my number so call me maby .....7 days

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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What is even bigger than an elephant? A gi-ant! (Wait you did say an anty joke right!?)

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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what did the kid say when pee-wee was about to rape him ...huh just make it quick

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So its 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar....I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ends up getting nuked.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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A hayride would be fun.

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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You might be redneck if you are... Indian

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Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

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What do dead babies and trash both have in common? They're both in my dumpster.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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