a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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I have a knock knock joke. You start.

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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i like pie

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

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Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

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A guy walks into a bar, and then orders a jack and coke.

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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knock knock. who's there yourdrive yourdrive who yourdriving me up the wall

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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