What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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What did the fat guy say after his weight-reduction surgery? I'm gonna sue the clown pants out of McDonalds

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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What is orange and annoying? A purple potato.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

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pudding

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Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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UN

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

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what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

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What's worse than an ice cream cone falling over? The Holocaust. What's worse than that? Two ice cream cones falling over.

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What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? her dad threw a refrigerator jlr

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What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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You ask your friend if they want to hear a joke when they say yes tell them that thought you had a joke

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

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how do you know when an elephant been in your refridgrator The door wont close

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whats sad about a ton of blacks in a limo going off a cliff. they'll destroy the car

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops