How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's funnier than a dead baby? A joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Jumping out of an airplane is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two guys are walking on a bridge. One has long hair. The other does not care.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the man beat his wife because he was mean

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats my name? Matt

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A duck and a chicken walk into a bar. How improbable.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's black, white, and red all over? A intro of darkness, then redness then whiteness

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why don't you push a mexican off a bike, because its probably yours,

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Sally get for chirstmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A guy thought it could be funny to write a joke that is not and post it on a social network. And did it

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Bum: Excuse me, can you spare some change? Rich man: No

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the white girl lose the race? The girl that she was beating was black and her boy shot her. Therefore the black girl won.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops