How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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What's green and has wheels? The farmer's tractor.

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

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what's white and goes up? a retarded snowflake

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Why did the mexican jump over the fence? It was a shortcut.

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Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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Q.Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? A. It had contracted a serious illness. He had killed it as an act of mercy.

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The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

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Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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I would, but I see an older version of the kid, that suffered so much pain and agony.

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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What do you call a deaf-black man that professionally generates maps of the world? A cartographer.

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Damn Nero... So you are saying there is no hope left, the underground society is dead and buried.

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What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to get to the other side.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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