Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why DIDN'T the skeleton cross the road? ..He didn't have any private parts

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what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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i have cancer

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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Why did the armless girl fell off the swing? Because somebody pushed her. Why did se fell again? Because somebody pushed her again.

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Hey guess what? Nevermind.

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Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

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A man gets into a joan Battle. He says Lamboguini Mercy your chick so thirsty then his pponent says Shut up Your chick is thirsty beacs yours face looks like a dried orange The man runs away Then the opponent realizes His Girlfrienn just aked Him for some water

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

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I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

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why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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