A blind man walks into the door of a bar

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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A hayride would be fun.

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How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

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Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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66

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

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Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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What's sadder than the Holocaust? Not a lot of things because it was probably one of the most depressing series of events that happened in the 20th Century.

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knock knock. no one's home..

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all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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