Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

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And then Jesus turned the water into wine. Some did not approve of this miracle "masta, whut is da reezon you did aint make this into tha coolaid? Bible files: Directors cut.

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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why did road cross the chicken Niggers love chicken.

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A black man walks into a KFC. He buys a bucket of chicken, then distributes it to several homeless men he supports off of his meager income because he knows their situations are much worse than his.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

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I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

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What is faster than a black man with a stereo? A car

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

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ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

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Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

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why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

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Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

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What has an orange t shirt A dick I lied about the shirt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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