Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have multiple personality disorder, NO YOU DON'T!

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

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acuna

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anti-joke teehee

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

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Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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Joshua Brown was in a dark forest, with a misty haze surrounding him. He turned quickly and flicked his hair out of his face. Dylan Hodge appeared and they had wild sex all night!

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Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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