Helena: Can u get me a pencil? Me: Sure. Me: Mr. Brandmeyer can u give me a pencil? Mr. Brandmeyer: Why? Me: I don't know. That's what Helena said.

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if there is a circle of fat people and you throw a cookie in the middle of the circle. It will be the best game of hungry hungry hippos you will ever see.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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There is something fishy about.... the fish curry at home

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what did the toe say to the other toe? nothing they cant speak

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Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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Chuck Norris doesnt need air to live, Air needs chuck Norris to live. Actaully that statment is a fallacy because it would be fatal to not breathe

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Q: How do you know your gay? A: When you have unexpected desires for men, which is a sin to a religion, so the choice of being gay is against the bible and you would soon be sent to the pit of fire we call hell.

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How do you make a Child cry? Slaughter his dog and feed it to him convincing him its Chili

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Benjamin Frankin was playing with his Xbox...

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Why did the guy have one shoe? Because he took one shoe off at a time

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Q. How many people use MySpace? A. Pfft who uses MySpace

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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A white, black, jewish, and hispanic person apply for a job as an accountant who gets the job? One of them.

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I have read and agree to the terms of midget sex service - View Terms of Service

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ever tried african food? they neither

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What is black, white, and red all over? The Wall

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops