The movie starts off with Tom Cruz jumping out of a plane. He hits the ground and dies, end of movie. - Cole G.

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I walked in ony my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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Whats the diffetance between a river and a waterfall? One is vertical!??

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Womens rights.

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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I just flew in from Seattle, and boy is their airport difficult to navigate.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hook. Hook who? Who are you Hooking Your Horns to?

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What's not funny? Today's anti-joke writers

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

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Why did the man fail to enter the CAPTCHA phrase correctly? Because he was actually a bot, and bots are typically prohibited from accessing information on most public web sites.

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why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

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Two Lawyers were talking to one another. The first lawyer said, "Wow this is the fourth case I've won in a row!" The other lawyer did not know how to respond because of the men the other lawyer put in jail had escaped from jail and already killed the lawyer's family.

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"Hey hey hey, did you hear the joke about the guy with terminal cancer?" "No." "Sorry to break it to you then."

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What's the difference between oreos and your opinion? I asked for your opinion.

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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Why didn't junior say thank you for his christmas present from his dad? He was raised by two moms

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Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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