What's worth than a large pile of dead babies? Nothing, you sick freak.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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A wise man once said...... I am a wise man

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whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

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a black man has a shotgun. having an IQ of 11 he shot his hands off

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What's black and fast? A treadmill.

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whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

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Who gives a shit? Justin Beiber.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

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Why did Michael Jackson die Cuz

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roses are red violets are blue i'm a schizophrenic and so am i

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Knock knock! Who's there? Wristwatch! Wristwatch who? Orange ya glad I didn't say banana

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How do you know when you've ritten too many anti-jokes? When you answer your own question as a rhetorical device

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Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

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knock knock whos there? IRS Oh....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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What do you call a black airline pilot? An airline pilot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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