What do you call a man with no legs or arms trying to ski? Impossible.

Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. Imams do not drink alcohol so this joke has a logical flaw.

Find the m nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn There is no m

Smoke weed till i die nigga

What did the bus say to the short bus? Heh, you're retarded..

My friend Keith found a worm in his apple. He ate it anyways

Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

so how about that irline food

A dyslexic pervert asks to see a woman's bar. Then he is chased to the bra next door.

whats the difference between me and callum ? one soul.

Jhon is riding his wheelchair, but can't get up the driveway. Lucky a stranger passes by. Jhon: Can you help me please sir? Stranger: No

What's green, brown, red, and is covered with crumbs in a ditch on the side of the road? A girl-scout who got hit by a car...

Homo say what?

How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

you: have you seen the movie constapated them:no you:its because it hasen't come out yet

Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

Why did Hitler hate Jews? Because he use to get bulied by them when he was in high school.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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