what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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panda bears are racist to mexicans-they are black, white and asian

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

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What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

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Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

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Chikin nuggets

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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