What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Sarah Palin

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

thumb_up thumb_down

It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse than a black President... George W Bush

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops