The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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lipstick pig

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how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

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Why is Harry Potter fake Because its a movie

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Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

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A black guy pulls into a KFC drive thru and orders some chicken. The cashier tells him that they are out of chicken, so the black goes to McDonald's instead.

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A young boy walks into a catholic church, he attends mass, and leaves.

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This is funny.

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Ask me if I'm a human. Are you a human? Yes.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Why was the black man eating fried chicken? He was on death row and it was his last meal request..

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A Christian walks into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

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How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Sex! Sex Who? Sex with me. BOOM!

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Why did the burrito taste bad? It's a giraffe.

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

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Why Do Black People Love Watermelon? Because Its A Delicious Fruit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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