Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

-"Hey! You guys wanna hear a joke" -"What?" -"Womens Rights"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

i like my coffee like i like my women ... with big titis

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the little boy run away from the beach? Hurricane Irene.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you confuse and anger a blonde? Kill her family and loved ones and say you did it because potato.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a black man throwing jars of flaming fruit preserves at a Jewish basketball player. MEXICO

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many Jews can you fit inside a car? Legally somewhere between 2 and 9 depending on seat belt availability and passenger space.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

thumb_up thumb_down -19

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? There's twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops