What happens when you give a math problem to a blonde? She works through it to arrive at the answer.

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Q:What's the difference between a turtle and a cat? A: One's a turtle and the other is a cat....

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life"

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Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

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Q. Why can't Stevie wonder read? A. Because he is black

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing set? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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The Qur'an

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A blind man is jumped and doesn't see it coming

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your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future

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What is green, dangorous, slow, defencive, and scared? A turtle with a uzi.

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what is yellow and burns? -a fire

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What did the kid say to Santa? Nothing, he was a goat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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Why is three afraid of four? Because four ate five.

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AntiJoke will not let me type this so I will add some spaces. N I G G E R.

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

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Why did the pig jump over the farmer? Because he's a stupid idiot.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

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What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

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Whats sad about a city bus full of black people exploding. NOTHING

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How is a raven like a writing desk? It isn't.

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Q: What did the architect say after he tripped? A: My mother died of cancer when I was 6.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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