How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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Your momma's so fat...

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What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

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Why? Because racecar.

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What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops