Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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"The lack of a punch line is the punch line" Oh

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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panda bears are racist to mexicans-they are black, white and asian

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

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What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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