- Anti Joke

Why did the bunny cross the road? Because it waited until a car was driving by and then got run over.

-6

How did the Jewish husband and stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

-6

Why did the gang jump a man for his blue jeep? Answer The gang wanted a blue jeep.

-6

Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

-6

A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

-6

Mac, or Big Jim, as his friends call him, follows the same routine that he has every day for the last several years. His days are always typical and very rarely differ or have any excitement thrown in the mix. It usually starts off by him waking up next to his wife, whom was always giving off a potent and delightful smell. This happens because she has a certain shampoo that makes her much more pleasant-smelling than the normal person, especially as she sleeps. So Big Jim then takes his pillow and throws it at her head. She usually wakes up thinking that he is trying to be a nuisance because of that, even though what follows next has happened every single time for the last few years. He continues to lightly hit her with the pillow until she, in a delightful flurry of feathers, begins to strike back. After a fun and good-looking pillow fight, he then proceeds to the bathroom to urinate and then wash his hands. After this, he then brushes his teeth and gets dressed. He goes to work and is encouraged by his boss every day for his astonishing effort and is then threatened to be promoted if it improves any more by the end of the month. He is always being encouraged by his boss because he does as much as he can do at the Woman's Abuse Shelter. He cares. But, at the end of the month he is never promoted because he threatens to take his boss's daughter out for ice cream - of whom he has fresh photos of her most recent farting accident as proof of his promise. His boss found this quite creepy and inappropriate. Normally, someone would go to the police, especially when there is photographic evidence, but the police chief is too busy to join them for ice cream and the only detective in their small town moved away four months ago. This caused a problem because the ice cream was never disposed of since the only ice cream man died one day prior due to old age. He was 79 at the time and well-loved by the community. After work, Big Jim then went home and his wife hugged him with delight. After dinner with his wife, Big Jim went to bed and had a good night's sleep.

-6

A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

-6

Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

-6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy? They have different colors of skin.

why did the man buy kool aid? because it was on sale and he was thirsty

What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

Why did it take so long to find Osama Bin Laden? No idea. Bad military tactics. Was he found?

roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

Jack and Jill ran up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and died.

What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

What do you get when do you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van