Chuck norris doesnt mow his lawn, He calls someone to do it for him and then he pays them a great deal of money considering he has a large lawn.

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What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

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What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

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Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

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it's funny because it's funny

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What does an Asian do in a library in his school? Write one of these.

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Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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Q: What's worse than spilling milk all over the floor? A: Cleaning up the milk you spilled all over the floor.

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Roses are red violets are blue im a schizophrenic and i am too.

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Have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. It's okay, neither has he.

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What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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Obamacare

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're adopted and Santa Claus isn't real

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Q:Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: Because she has no arms. ..... Knock knock! who's there? Not Sara, she has no arms and doesn't have the abitlity to knock.

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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womens rights.

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I was reading a book about antigravity, but I put it down because it was boring.

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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