What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

BUT HWY?

What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

Yee

Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

How did the cat die? I just it nine times

What's white and sticky? A white stick.

What's yellow and dangerous? China.

whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

girl says..joe..................................................................... boy says...who is joe................. girl..the idiot of a helper at my skl

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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