Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

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Good to see you today!

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A blind man walks into the door of a bar

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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what is not funny? This joke.

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

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Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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Your momma's so fat...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

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knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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