How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

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If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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I went to the store and I fell

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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