Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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You know it's sunny outside when you go outside and its sunny

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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Whats really down a black hole? I don't know...The last person to go down one never came back because he died of AIDS.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Its John

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What did the penguin do in the desert? He died .

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How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

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Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

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What did the cow say to the horse? Mooo

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

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Why was the boy laughing? Because

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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I saw a coin one day but never picked it up. It was still there the next day and then the day after that when it was still there I saw a girl being sick on it...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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