One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

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How did the dog die? He was put down.

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HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH

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Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

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Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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What's the difference between Rob Schnieder and Jelly Beans? Someone besides Adam Sandler likes Jelly Beans.

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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NO I AM NEROCHAN LEFT!

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my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

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A guy killed his kids and wife Pokémon GO also exists

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i named my son Frodo because he was little

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What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

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What do you do when you find a black man rolling around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

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Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

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Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Robert. Robert who? Robert Anderson.

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whats worse than someone blowing out all your birthday candles? a piano dropping on your head.

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whats worse, being kicked in the balls or giving birth? losing an arm to meningitis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops