what happened when a duck flew over the hunter during duck hunting season? the hunter shot at the bird, but fortunately, the hunter was nit very good so the duck flew back to his wife and children by the pond.

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"Almost as accidental as your spelling I'm afraid." -...

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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How do you make a tissue dance? You really can't, but you could grab it and shake it around so it looks like its dancing.

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What did the Big Chimney say to the Little Chimney? Nothing, chimneys are unable to talk.

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Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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doctor: hey u ready to get home person: yea doctor: that sucks cause u have cancer

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*Guy and Jar of Chunky Peanut Butter* Guy; "Hey you're chunky" Peanut Butter; "I know"

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A Man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The Bartender proceeds to unload a 30 round banana clip into his head, neck, and midsection.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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How come the dog didn't want to go into the sun? -Because it didn't want to turn into a hotdog.

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A Sloth runs...

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Two planes walk into an office building

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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What's the difference between a woman? Apart from the differing reproductive systems and body organs, women are characterized by a need to create food.

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What did the underprivileged girl get for Christmas? Nothing because Santa Claus is a media generated holiday icon and the real St. Nicolas has been deceased for almost 700 years.

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Roses are Orange Violets are Green I'm Colorblind..

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How many dead babies can you fit in my truck? Thirty-seven and a half;)

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A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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What do you call a deer with no legs? Legs in the City

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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