a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

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acuna

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

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a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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