If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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make me a sandwich!

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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here's a joke a black man goes in a store and buy something

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teacher: what comes after 69? johnny: mouthwash teacher: get out.

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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who did the strait guy marry? a woman

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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Did you hear about the kid napping? They found his body in a ditch.

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What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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