what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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Hey Tim lets think of a joke

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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penis

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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A Woman out of the kitchen

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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FIRE!!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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